School holidays are meant to be the fun part of the school year. For a lot of Australian parents, though, they’re the part that quietly wrecks the household budget and the roster all at once. Between rising childcare costs, long daycare waitlists, and school breaks that never quite line up with annual leave, it’s no wonder so many families feel like they’re just getting through it rather than enjoying it.
We sat down with the resident child psychologist at NannyLane Australia — a childcare marketplace connecting families directly with verified nannies — to talk about what’s actually going on for parents underneath all that logistical stress, and why the type of care a child gets matters just as much as simply having care sorted.
NannyLane was founded by Patrick and Julie Menary, parents of four themselves, after building the kind of flexible, on-demand nanny system their own family needed — one that works whether you need someone tonight, next week, or every school holidays without fail. Here’s what their psychologist had to say about trust, consistency, and why kids need a familiar face more than a familiar routine.
When a parent comes to you feeling anxious or overwhelmed about childcare, what’s usually actually going on underneath that? What are they really worried about?
Underneath the logistics, it’s rarely really about the childcare spot itself — it’s about having control and being able to trust. Parents worry about handing their child’s wellbeing to someone else and not being able to trust that person or setting. That worry often masks a deeper fear: that they’re somehow failing by needing help at all, or that their child will be less safe, less loved, less “theirs” in those hours. Once we address the practical problem — finding care that works for the family — we can work on building trust and reminding them that parenting is about balance.
How does the pressure of cost and long waitlists show up for the families you see — what does it actually look like day to day?
It usually shows up as continuous, subtle stress rather than one big crisis. Parents are making decisions weeks or months in advance just to secure a place, often before they even know their own work schedule. Day to day, that means relying on favours from grandparents or friends, which can tip over into resentment between partners over whose job “has” to be more flexible. By the time I see these families, that background pressure has often started showing up as irritability, exhaustion, or a nagging sense of falling short — one neither parent is really aware of.
Can you share an example of a family whose life just didn’t fit the standard childcare model? What happened?
I think of a family where one parent worked rotating shifts and the other travelled regularly for work. Nothing about their week looked the same twice. Long day-care centres, with fixed hours and rigid days, simply couldn’t meet their needs. The family spent months patching together care from whoever they could find at short notice. We know children benefit from certainty and consistency — this child was impacted by the unpredictability, and their anxiety and stress increased. Settling in got harder each time because there was no “usual person” to expect. Once the family found a system that let them return to familiar carers even on an ad-hoc basis, that unsettled behaviour eased considerably, because the child finally had something consistent.
A lot of parents feel bad about not using “traditional” childcare, or about needing extra help. What would you say to a parent feeling that way?
I’d say that feeling usually comes from measuring yourself against a version of “normal” that doesn’t actually reflect most families’ lives anymore. What matters to a child isn’t the model of care their parents chose — it’s whether they feel safe and consistently cared for. A parent who’s calmer and better supported because they’ve found a form of care that actually fits their life is giving their child something far more valuable than just ticking a box.
You’ve spoken before about kids picking up on parental stress even when it’s not said out loud — how does that actually show up in a child?
Children are highly attuned to the emotions of their parents and caregivers. When those emotions are negative, it can show up as separation anxiety spikes and meltdowns during handovers, being unsettled, disrupted sleep, or even becoming increasingly clingy.
Why does having the same trusted carer matter more, developmentally, than having the same building or routine?
A child’s sense of security is built through familiar caregiving relationships, where they learn to find comfort and familiarity in a person, knowing they can fully trust who they’re with. While a consistent routine provides stability, the routine alone can’t provide those feelings of safety — that comes from regular caregivers and the child depending on their presence.
Why do you think school holidays cause so much extra strain for families compared to term time?
For many families, school holidays are a source of stress as they navigate ad-hoc childcare arrangements, the financial strain that comes with those — prices are often hiked up in peak periods — as well as their own leave balances not always lining up with the multiple holidays through the year.
If you had to sum up, in one or two sentences, why flexibility matters so much for family wellbeing — what would you say?
A parent who feels they’re in control over when, how and who cares for their child can have a measurable effect on their mental health, which in turn filters out to the rest of the family. That sense of control looks different for everyone.
That idea of flexibility building trust, both for parents and kids, is part of what led Patrick and Julie Menary to start NannyLane Australia in the first place. Their platform lets families book verified nannies as needed — for one night, a regular weekly slot, or the school holidays — and lets parents favourite and rebook carers their kids already know, rather than starting from scratch each time. It’s one practical way families can build in the kind of consistency this interview points to, without having to commit to a single fixed model of care.